$1 Page Four
An Imaginary Interview With Carnival
Director Dean
Mills Dean, the Director General of the 1915 Carnival, was finally located by our reporter at the rehearsal of "Defending Their Homes" on the Carnival grounds. He was in carnest conversation with Dr. Cox, Dr. Robinson, Mr. Batchelder and Col. Johnson from Rome, Georgia, boyhood-friend of Mrs. Wilson and now here directing the census. Mills explained to the scribe: "You see, this spectacular drama must not only be attractive but it must be historically accurate in every detail. This pirate Tamah is fierce. and I would like to have Mr. Batchelder take that role, but he wishes to have a sea scene. the sinking of a passenger ship. We can't have that. He wants to save the ladies by putting life-belts on them. I don't want a sea drama. I want his views on how the fierce wild tribes ought to act. I want expert advice on savages from him. Then Col. Johnson is from the South and these Tamah pirates are supposed to come up from the south. He wants to have them all stop fighting and do a buck and wing dance and have a glee club quartette sing Georgia, Georgia, Over All', but you see how impossible it would be to give it local U. S. A. color. Dr. Robertson suggested that one side be chosen from the subscribers to 'Consolida rion Nacional' while the other be selected from the Vanguardia readers and arm both parties with stuffed clubs and let the tocsin. ring and the people would get their money's worth. but this does not appeal to me. I want to have harmony. Dr. Cox has some of the clearest views, but I am sorry I cannot incorporate them into the show. He wants the dialogues written in the ancient Polynes- ian-Indico-Ibernica language which, accord- ing to undisputed authorities, might have been spoken here 1635 years ago or more correctly 280 A. D. He contends, and I think with force of reason, that all the private colleges would come and it would be a feast of reason as well as a flow of soul. But I think the general public wants something stirring so we have all collaborated and have produced this last word in dramatic art.
"I must express my admiration of the beautiful scenery and large conception, Mr. Mills.
"Oh, that was done by our esteemed and talented Sr. José Viñas of the Spanish Opera Co. He also has taken great pains to coach me in acting all the leading parts. You see, I stand ready to fill any part. It may be that one of the actors wants to go to a ball on a certain night, and if that happens you will find me right there with the goods and take his part without a hitch. Oh, it is not only in this great drama that I have become proficient, but I have made it a duty to be an understudy for every attraction in the Hubbub. I state it modestly that I am pre- pared to take Mme. Garcia's place in the bell-defying plunge through space in the dinky automobile. I have also given lots of attention running the Old Dutch Wind- mill. Boss La Pointe has volunteered to
be understudy for Wa-wa, the Borneo miss ing link. I had some difficulty in success- fully learning the parts in the Chinese play house. Of course you know I would only be called on to play the leading parts because the minor parts can be filled by others and if they bungle it won't be so noticeable. These Chinese dramas continue on for two weeks and unless one gets thoroughly into the spirit of the play he cannot do it justice, but I may not be called on to act. I shudder to think of how I would correctly act the part of the Samar twins. It has been sug- gested that if they are indisposed and can- not show that act be suspended and I have about decided that this is the best solution because it would never do to only act half of the twins or in any other way do less than perfection."
"Mr. Dean, then nothing has been left to chance. You are bound to make it a suc- CCSS. What other features do you emphasize?""
"There are the three parades. I have given them personal attention. I wanted Major Hartigan to take complete charge but he begged off.
"He said he wished to be foot loose and frisk about and have some fun with the boys'. I have got a lot of real startling effects for the parades. The Japanese have taken a hold in great style as have the Chi- nese and when the boy scouts are masquer- aded and their identity is hidden they will 'cut up dog' for fare-ye-well. Oh, it is all doped out and is going to be a hummer. Of course the balls each night are a specialty by themselves. I shall naturally have to shape their course and destiny and now that the constabulary band is not here I will have to give special attention to the music. have thought some of having a snare drum in the orchestra to keep up the spirit of the Escuela de Baile. Opinion is divided. There are those who declare they cannot dance without the drum while others want variety and have the drum cut out. I have been giving several hours a day with the brass bands putting life and ginger into them. Their technique is fairly good and if Iget their morale improved I will have gained much."
I
"Mr. Dean, I really had no idea of the vast amount of work you have done. How did you ever dare to undertake it?"
"Well, as one becomes accustomed to responsibilities one gets to carrying a few more on an ever increasing ratio until the whole frame becomes a machine to do more and there is then no longer any limit to what the will power can force the unwilling body to do, but as cach day sees its task well done there is the compensating reward of a con- tented mind. And now if you will please excuse me I see a duty before me. I have daily taken the young ladies who sell the chocolates on an imaginary round to accustom them to the routine and I see they are wait- ing for me as usual and the most possible must be made of the few days to insure thoroughness in every detail."
O'CONNELL'S, January 30, 1915
One On Cooper
Ole Olsen, the descendant of Eric the Red, the Viking king that beat Columbus to America by a century or two, now and then between times when he is shipping cigars to the States by the million or so, in- dulges in a little visit to the house of a friend out near the new reservoir. Ole went there last Sunday and spent some little time in looking over his friend's garden patch. Ole is some farmer himself. He says that when he was living back in Norway on the side of an iceberg, he often used to see pictures of trees and flowers and grain growing in the green fields and he thought that if he could ever get some place where winter did not last eleven months and a half every year he would turn farmer. Ole has a nice little garden around his place near the gas-house and quite frequently he attires himself in some old clothes that he had especially imported from the States to do the part right in, and ambles forth among the cabbage patches and the cucumber vines to fool the birds. Ole is the original thing in scare- crows when he gets properly togged out in his farmer costume. Well, to get back where we started. Ole was looking his friend's place over when he noticed that the pump would not work. Immediately be called his host's attention to the fact and suggested that be buy one of Henry Cooper's hot air pumps. His friend replied that Cooper was a pretty regular caller and thought that there was no necessity for buy. ing a pump as Cooper's conversation could be used and this would cost nothing.
on
The breeze bas been blowing some cooler Plaza Moraga this week.
Clever
That story printed in one of the daily papers about the possibility of the Igorot Scouts not being permitted to take part in the military parade because of their lack of pants, was certainly a clever piece of public- ity. All over town people were talking about it and some of the rumors were that Major-General Barry had delivered an ulti- matum that if the scouts from the hill country could not parade then there would be no parade of any of his troops. Quite a little excitement was stirred up about the matter. The carnival publicity man deserves a medal for putting that one over.
Paper Suppressed
Dublin, Ireland, Dec. 3.- The news- paper Sinn Fein did not appear today. The publishers of this journal refused to print in consequence of having been warned by the authorities that they would be liable to prosecutions for the publication of treason- able matter.
This is the second step in the suppression of Irish publications which have been oppos- ing enlistment and expressing pro-German sentiments. The police last night raided the office of the Irish Freedom. a monthly publication, and confiscated all copies of the paper offered for sale on the news stands.
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O'CONNELL'S, January 30, 1915
Manila Ethics
Commissioner Dennison has decreed that
a municipal doctor, paid by public funds, can refuse to attend any call for his services even in critical cases, if it is contrary to his, established code of professional ethics.
For the benefit of those who have not seen the account of the case in question we will briefly state the main facts. An infant child of Capt. Hill of the Cavite naval ferry was taken with severe convulsions during the Captain's absence. Several women who live near went to the assistance of Mrs. Hill, and one was sent out to summon a doctor. This woman saw Dr. Catalino Nicolas, munic- ipal doctor of Cavite, sitting in the drug store smoking and talking, and she rushed to him. She stated to him that Hill's baby was very sick and asked him to come at once. This doctor, paid out of public funds presum- ably to attend urgent cases, refused and stated as they had Dr. Victoriano before let them get him again and he would not go. Thanks to a merciful Providence the child did not die and this cold-blooded doctor did not have the joy of telling everybody in Cavite what an awful mistake it is to ever hire the other doctor because the other doctor turned up just in time and saved the child's life.
The public of Cavite asked Capt. Hill to report this matter because if this is the kind of spite that is worked out on a paying patient, what hope is there to get this doctor to visit a poor patient in time of need?
The accused doctor simply smiled when the charges were made. He knew that the influence that put him in office would keep him there. In answer to the charges he said he "understood" that he was merely wanted for consultation and that he did not want to look after somebody else's patients. His superior, Com. Dennison, figuratively speak- ing, patted him on the back and intimated to him that when an urgent call comes and he does not wish to violate professional ethics all he needs to do is to telephone the undertaker and coroner to go to a certain
LIVE WIRE!
A messenger, AT CALL,
bicycle mounted, in this
land of mañana, is a live
wire personified. We have.
Pronto Service
TEL. 152
42 ESCOLTA
house and his ethical duties as municipal doctor will be quite fully and satisfactorily Dr. discharged.
Oht for one hour of stern Worcester. whose shadow falling on Dennison would make that pigmy look like a man.
From Another Angle The Pree Press" publishes the follow- ing just appreciation of agricultural specialist Prautch, but seems to err in thinking that Prautch has been the chief sufferer in not being paid a salary. We desire to interject this idea. The people have been deprived of more than Mr. Prautch has; they have lost possible crops and prosperity.
We fully concur with the "Free Press" as far as it goes and print the editorial to give it wider publicity:
Prautch Redivivus
"A prophet is not without bonor, save in his own country. For ten years past & man by the name of Prautch has been din ning into our ears that in spite of the sad fate of Lipa, coffee can be grown in the Phil- ippines and on a large scale with every assur- ance of success. Now a Mr. Strauss, a practical planter from Java, confirms what Mr. Prautch has been saying. The trouble with Mr. P. is that he was not born in Kansas and can't qualify as a "boy expert." It is not so very long ago that 19,000 was paid Professor Waters from Kansas, who never saw the tropics till he came to the Philippines. to come over and tell us all about the land we live in. It was the old story of what was new was not good and what was good was not new, among the "new" being a fairy tale to the effect that locusts take a trip down from the hills once every ten years. And that is just about the length of time that Mr. Prautch has been "doing his voice-in- the-wilderness stunt." But he never got any twelve thousand pesos. No, he is just a prophet, not a professor, and he doesn't hail from Kansas."
Page Five
Answers To Correspondents Burdett. The mistake you made was
very natural. He was a veterano not veterinary and hence the confusion. Your claiming him as a brother ought not to worry you now that you know.
H. Skinin.
He runs Kansas.
two newspapers in
It seems a job in the Bureau of Agriculture pays him better. Search us. Eight others also came. They don't know much in any language.
Heinie Fisher. You should have no diff- culty in heating any well built ice house. The best method is the simplest one. It is just the opposite of the way to cool a hot house. We hope you get your
money.
Horace H. Ferns should be watered daily but once every two years is often enough to water stocks.
Florence. We would offhand answer that a good "foot rule" is to take off your shoes before going to bed.
Eddie Tait. Yes. a bill was introduced to change Aug. 13th from Occupation Day to Blessed Redeemer Day or Redemp- tion Day. July 4th will not be changed to Leberwurst Day to please anybody.
Carrie Bly.--We decline to print your article. We think that City Club speech was stupid, so does he. We can say so, he dare not. Why nag him, he is trying to return among white folks.
Carl Hess. It is not so much why he got
out of politics but what he got out of politics. See the difference, Carl?
Elmer Brown. -Your questions "How far
THE
can a bed spring, and does a watch run fast in cold weather in order to keep warm?" are silly. Send them to the "Free Press."
MANILA HOTEL
Will Not Be Closed During The Carnival
NUFF SED
424
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